Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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