happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
