come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
