dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
