You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
