Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
