is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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