Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
