I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
farters have to be the big spoon...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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