Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
