we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
