somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
