1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
