It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
