went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
