I think I just saw someone hide a body.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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