Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
