no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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