i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
