I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
