he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
