I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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