Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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