i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
