Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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