there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
