she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
