she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
