i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
