Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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