is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
