Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
