Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
