let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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