Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
