Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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