oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
