her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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