Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
