Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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