Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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