That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
