you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
