Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
