He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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