Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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