Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You're like the curious george of whores
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Pooping to opera.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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