I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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