maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
