i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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